Last night my husband and I sat in the hot tub and reminisced about our first year together. Truthfully, that first year should have been a disastrous year on paper. My husband was going through a high conflict divorce, a difficult custody battle that had legal costs mounting, I was struggling to find my place as a stepmom, and we were limited in our time with our kiddo. There were big changes in our careers that left us feeling financially insecure and overwhelmed. We were living in a rental home until we had some resolution, and as a result, I never fully unpacked. Every day I felt displaced, discouraged and anxious.
One of the best investments, and one of the first purchases we made together, was to buy his uncle’s used hot tub. It was $300, 20 years old, and it had survived long winters and hot summer parties hosted by their teenage kids.
That hot tub saved our relationship
From the very moment we spoke about wanting a hot tub, the universe had our back.
His uncle called weeks later, out of the blue, and said he was thinking of getting rid of it and we had crossed his mind as potential buyers.
The home we were renting had a walkout with a gorgeous setup to shelter us from the wind and rain and to provide us privacy.
The home also had the wiring to support the hot tub, which would save us the hassle of hiring an electrician.
Yup, it was meant to be!
We used that hot tub Every. Damn. Day. We had long talks in that hot tub. Big kisses in that hot tub. Ugly cries in that hot tub. That hot tub was our therapy, our date night, and our safe place.
We climbed into the hot tub last night and looked back on the last 6 years. We talked about the hot tub beanie he bought me days after we brought the tub home and about how he first told me about his commitment to me (“you and me...growing old, with a glass on wine in our hands, enjoying a fresh snowfall in the tub”.
This morning I woke up joyful to find a fresh snowfall. Tonight we will watch hockey as a family, tuck our little into bed, and head down to our nightly date night and enjoy the gorgeous winter sky. What we wished for, and worked for, is slowly being grown and we know to be thankful. Tomorrow will be our first wedding anniversary and I could not be more proud, grateful, and joyful.
What is your favourite thing to keep your connection strong? Research shows us that big things don’t keep connection alive, but rather small consistencies. Long walks, hot baths, nightly cribbage games? Whatever it is, do your best to keep it going. Keep it sacred and protect its value.
