Decision making can be really difficult. There are various ways to aid in decision making; gut (or intuition), canvasing others (external influence), fear, and logic. Opposite to the idea of fear based decision making is love based decision making. They can be explained simply as: making a decision based on what we don't want to happen (fear) OR making a decision based on what we do what to happen (love). Well when we put it like that we would probably always come to a decision through a love lens right? Maybe not...
Fear
In fear based decision making, we make decisions based on the worries of the outcome whereas a love based decision focuses on what could be. For example, maybe you are thinking about a career change because you don't currently like your current situation. A fear based perspective would consider all the negative outcomes from leaving that job (loss of job security, financial changes, the possibility of never working again or being out of work for a long time, etc.). Fear based decision making isn't about seeking out a desired outcome, but instead trying to choose the most safe option. This process of fear based thoughts is often grounded in assumptions, judgment and expectation. Fear allows us to settle for something we really don't want.
The truth is that our worst case scenarios rarely come to fruition. If we make decisions based on fear, we often end up missing out on what we really want and need. The decision often becomes an emotional decision, and as we all know...feelings are not facts!
Love
So let's talk love (or faith) based decision making. This style of decision making focuses on what we DO want to happen! We put our actual desires and needs in front of our decision making and we ask ourselves along the way "is this what I actually want?" Love based decision making listens to our intuition, comes a place of vulnerability and awareness. It is a place of true possibility and openness. Love based decision making does not mean that there is an absence of fear, but instead it means choosing a path based on embracing the uncertainty.
Love based decision making is a practice. When I was first learning about fear vs. love in decision making, I started to take stock in my personal decision making style. It was shocking to see how many big decisions I made based out of fear! The university program I had originally wanted seemed too daunting and so I picked an area that I knew I would do better in. Years later, I finally choose love and went back to school to challenge myself and to show up for a program that I knew I actually wanted. I stayed in relationships and let them carry on long past their expiry date because I feared the breakup. Learning to operate from a place of love vs. fear has been a practice in knowing myself, showing up for myself, and having faith in myself and my journey.
THINK ABOUT YOUR DECISION MAKING STYLE. WHERE ARE YOU MOST COMFORTABLE MAKING DECISIONS FROM: A PLACE OF FEAR OR A PLACE OF LOVE.
